I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
