I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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