Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
