Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
