She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You dont lie about slip and slides
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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