Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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