bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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