We won't sleep together?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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