I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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