what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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