piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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