So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
