oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
