i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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