I just pynch a tree in the face
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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