i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
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I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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