we have officially lost it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We are all done wearing pants today
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
