Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
