i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
