god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
