you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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