woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
