My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
