She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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