Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
