You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
