i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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