I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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