they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
In other news, I just burned my penis
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
