Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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