jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
