So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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