I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
