On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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