If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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