Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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