yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Randomize
