Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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