New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
