she told me i tasted like america
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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