I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
