Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
