wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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