so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
