just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
