i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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