grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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