can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
