i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
