I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
