It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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