I bet he comes in French.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...