the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.