Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
She's like a pop up book from hell.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.