It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife