i think my tv is drunk
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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