I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize