I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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