I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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