Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i think my tv is drunk
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
