You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
